He's a slacker...he's a slacker...!

Yet another confession - not one thing has been done on the old veg patch today. Heavy rain is my latest excuse. Am I being too optimistic in believing there is an optimum temperature for this sort of thing? In Britain?

Still, I did go to the garden centre again and actually bought some things this time. Chicken manure, lettuce seeds, two types of rhubarb and spinach. Perhaps you're wondering why sweets were the first three of the six items. Er...would sugar boost do?

Am on my own this weekend, so should have plenty of time to get out there. 

The vanishing act

I became a true British workman today. All the signs were put up around the vegetable plot and then I disappeared for the day.

Not a stroke of work was done as we all went off for the day to Sheffield to see the Vivienne Westwood exhibition at the Millennium Galleries. It is my holiday, after all. It was a great show and well worth seeing.

Must get out into the garden tomorrow and make progress.

The flag flies proudly

This post seems to have taken on an American flavour recently, so I'll redress the balance by showing the flag. And why shouldn't I be proud? I've done a lot (for me).

Actually, I haven't done so much today. After I gave the ground a thorough turning over, it got too hot so I had a walk down to the local garden centre to get some ideas.

There was a great surprise in the post this morning from my friends Marianne and Steve in Ramsgate. They sent me three packets of heritage seeds - French beans, broad beans and peas. 

The French bean goes by the name Cherokee Trail of Tears, evocative but very sad. These were grown by the Cherokee on their forced migration from their homelands to a reservation, I'm told.

A tiring day out in the lower field

Dig...dig...dig...dig...dig...dig...dig...dig...It's a hard job, but I've broken the back of the initial digging now.

Some people may think I'm making too much of it, but it's a big step for me. Bereft of exercise for years, overweight and out of condition, this really is a major challenge for me. It's dead tiring, but I'm happy that I've got as far as I have.

I've cleared all the ground today of weeds and, I suppose, plants, and given it a perfunctory turning over. Tomorrow I'll give the soil a really good going over, removing all the stones and roots I can see. Then I'll sling in some fertiliser laden with chemicals and stick in some of those genetically-modified tomatoes (only kidding).

I shed about a gallon of perspiration today with this unaccustomed work, so I'm off now to have a well-deserved bath.

The man is for turning

I'm a bit happier today - as well as a lot more sweaty and about a stone slimmer through exertion.

Finally got started last night in the cool of the evening and made a bit of progress with the digging. Continued this morning after jumping out of bed early because it seemed a bit cooler. Perspiration pouring off me, but I'm pleased that I've managed to dig a good chunk out although I fully realise there's a long way to go yet.

I found last night that if you want to get ahead, get a dog. The photo is of our cocker spaniel Dolly who, it turns out, is ace at digging. Look at her tongue. First, unleash your dog. Then, sit back in the chair with a beer. Recommended. (PS we weren't trying to hang her. She just needs tying up because she tends to be naughty about going off).

One small step for man

Why the two photos? Well, there's some controversy that both were faked for the camera. It does look as though I'm not putting my back into the digging, but this was more of a ceremonial event to mark at least a bit of a start.

I'm not sure if the photo shows it well, but it was very hot outside. Too sweltering to go at it, really, especially for one who's not fit. Still, I've had a little survey of the ground and am confident I'll succeed.

Slight change of plan on where I am to dig. Susan pointed out a much better spot, very overgrown, just in front of the shed and behind a big bush. It desperately needs clearing out anyway, so why not there? Saves digging up the lawn at the moment, although it's possible I'll utilise a bit of it in the future.

I've got a cane in each corner of the plot now, raring to go. Please let it be cooler tomorrow.

Houston, we have a problem

You'll notice my absence from the site of the plot. How do I explain this? It's just too damn hot to go out into the garden - hence the distinct lack of activity you can see in this photograph.

My friend Steve had warned that today was due to be very hot so the main activity of his and Marianne's day would be an allotment picnic with home-brew vino. Jokingly, he added they would be thinking of me as I was digging through the snowdrifts to find my garden. Ha, ha!

It was Susan who first broached the subject of the heat, honest. And she's right - on holiday I got horribly scorched within an hour or so.

So, a slight delay in the project. Alex 'Pip' Paton (he's a bit posh) was right to include a beer barrel, glass and deckchair on his suggested masterplan. Only I shall be doing my drinking inside.

Is this the masterplan?

My friend Alex 'Pip' Paton has sent the above plan after hearing my news. Despite his aristocatic background, he is not afraid of getting his hands dirty and knows a thing or two about gardening.

I particularly like his suggestion of a barrel of  'gardener's fuel' with adjacent pint glass. However, I fear I will have to reject it in favour of hard work.

In the circumstances, I will not be paying his suggested consultancy fee. But he may get some broad beans in lieu of cash.

His wife Alison intimates (in a polite way)  some incredulity at my project. My friends know me all too well.

She suggests soft fruit and asks if I want raspberry canes and strawberry plants.

Mm, more food for thought. But what's really needed is a bit of action on my part.

It's what friends are for...

Friends have been nothing but supportive over my little project to create a vegetable plot in the garden.

Marianne and Steve know a thing or two about this as they have a thriving allotment near their home in Ramsgate, freely admitting they practically live there. (That's it above).

They're thinking that the space I'm planning might soon expand once I get in the swing of things. Their offer of seeds of crimson-flowered broad-beans and Magnum Bonum is one I might well take up once I know what I'm doing and what produce I need.

My friend Kate suggests I may have left it a little late to plant most things in the veg patch - adding that I should go for salad stuff and could also try spinach beet.

I'm a little worried about animals getting too interested in the plot once it gets going. My daughter Dorothy had a close encounter with a badger at the weekend, which scampered off into the garden, and I saw a fox walking up the lane last night. Are they interested in this sort of thing (foodwise I mean, not in a philosophical way).

Kate says badgers like digging up lawns to look for worms most and hers ignores the veg patch. Jan, a long time friend from Leeds who now lives in Bingley, thinks the rabbits are the critters to keep away from the veg garden - so no lettuce/carrots.

She also says: "Beans are really good to grow - runner beans as well as broad beans - bugs seem to pass them by and bees love the flowers. Ten to a dozen plants don't take up much room - supported on canes they produce a glut of beans that means you can put loads in the freezer for t'winter."

A salivating thought. All that's needed now is a bit of action on my part.

It's coming, it's coming.

My vegetable patch

I have decided to create a vegetable patch in our garden.

It's a big step for someone who doesn't know a seed from a pip (are they the same?) or anything about planting and maintenance. Or, indeed, likes work. Nevertheless, the decision is made. 

Why I've said it, I just don't know. It just came out in the pub - we hadn't been talking about that sort of thing and I hadn't even had it in my mind on that day. Now I'm declaring it publicly on this blog and to my friends, so I've got to do it.

Hard digging is the first task, as I plan to use about one-third of our garden. Some lawn will have to go, along with bushes, and then the earth turned over (is that what they do?)

I'll try to be as organic as possible. Don't know yet at this stage what I'll be planting, but broad beans, rhubarb and potatoes are on the list.

This is a picture of our garden from the front bedroom. I intend to dig up the section at the rear on the left.

Today I have booked a week's holiday next week to start doing it. Got to follow through now or will look a fool.

By the way, daughter Dorothy proved industrious today and repainted the green shed you can see. Good job.

Wish me luck